Alright that does it! I have officially lost my last bit of faith in humanity as an intelligent species. First I thought it was gone when we went to war, then I thought it was gone when the whole country lost its mind over an exposed boob, and I was sure it had finally vanished after Senator Zell Miller challenged TV talking head Chris Matthews to a dual.......so imagine my surprise when I discovered that I had just a smidgen of faith left to lose. Ladies and gentleman, I present for your viewing pleasure (or pain, whichever the case may be).......the dumbest man alive..........

..................The unnamed young man who won the latest "Jackass" contest, sponsored by Chicho's Restaurant in Virginia Beach, Va., in August, first came to the attention of police when he was spotted wandering around at 1 a.m. bleeding from an amateur Mohawk haircut. Also, his chest, stomach, buttocks and legs were heavily industrial-strength stapled, and he had slice marks on his side and a broken collarbone (from a back flip off the bar). He had also swallowed and vomited a live goldfish and broken a beer bottle over his head, but all in all, he said, he was proud. (The restaurant manager was fired.) [Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), 8-7-04]

In the poignant words of my main man Tiny Tim: "God Bless us Every One."